My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
