The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
