it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize