Your face is a jimmy john
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
