not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
