did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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