lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
