I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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