one two three fourrrrnication!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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