in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
