I think I won the penis lottery.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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