How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
