the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
