ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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