I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
