I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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