k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
