I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
