Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
