we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
