Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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