do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
