Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
