I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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