You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
