I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
