Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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