A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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