i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
