I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
