Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
