Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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