yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize