I could have mohawked her pubes.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
