i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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