Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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