I can feel you judging me through the phone.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize