Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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