I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
