so explain again why im purple
no
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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