kristin has been a bad kristin
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
