; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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