people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
how does that bad decision feel?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
