Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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