oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
