we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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