I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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