remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I could make wine with my vomit
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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