put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
id be glad to
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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