So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
