then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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