I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
