Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
