But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize