i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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