Its about making memories worth repressing
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize